Category Archives: Movies

Star Trek (this post full of spoilers)

I am sure that I don’t need to introduce this summer’s first big special effects action adventure film, Star Trek directed by J.J. Abrams. I went into this movie expecting to enjoy it. Wil Wheaton and LeVar Burton were singing its praises on Twitter.  Reviews were overwhelmingly positive. I even enjoyed the only other movie […]

My Oscar Picks: 2009

Best Picture: Slumdog Millionaire Best Director: Danny Boyle for Slumdog Millionaire Best Actor: Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler Best Actress: Meryl Streep in Doubt Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight Best Supporting Actress: Amy Adams in Doubt Best Original Screenplay: Milk Best Adapted Screenplay: Slumdog Millionaire Cinematography: The Curious Case of Benjamin […]

Slumdog Millionaire is 3.48 Blarts

I realized recently that I need a baseline for all of the horrible movies coming out this year.  If I could have one standard way to describe just how terrible a movie is, I could make sense of Hollywood’s seeming inability to put out good creative movies.  That’s when it came to me.  On Rotten […]

The Worst Movies I Saw in 2008

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale Special award: Most hilarious cast  Now, obviously, any video game movie directed by Uwe Boll is not going to have anything to do with the game, so I don’t really care about that.  I’ve never even played the game.  What makes this movie so unbelievably […]

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

Did I really spend money on this one?  I guess I did.  This movie’s main problem can be summed up in three words.  No Rachel Weisz.  Seriously.  They couldn’t have written her out by saying something like “Oh, Evelyn died in the many intervening years since the last movie when we were supposed to be […]

The Clone Wars

If you’ve glanced at Rotten Tomatoes this weekend, you might have seen the abysmal 18% that Star Wars: The Clone Wars has managed to receive.  This puts it slightly below The Crappening.  I have to say, this is one of the times that I totally disagree with the consensus that Rotten Tomatoes came to. Some […]

The Incredible Hulk

This review is a bit overdue, but I do have something to say about the film.  First a recap… Ang Lee makes a campy cartoony Hulk Movie with Eric Bana, Jennifer Connely and Sam Elliot’s mustache.  No one likes it because it’s campy.  A few people say that while it is flawed, it has very […]

My Worst Fears Have Been Realized

George Lucas must be stopped at all cost! He won’t rest until he fills all of our favorite movies with crappy jarring CGI. Spoilers ahead as I will probably reveal almost every retarded plot point in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to tell you exactly what is wrong with the latest […]

Iron Man

At risk of sounding snooty… Iron Man has a third act problem. What was that problem? The writing team. Apparently the film had two writing teams, each working on different parts of the movie. The point at which the switch is made is heart breaking. Most of the movie is funny, exciting, gritty, and badass. […]

Movies for the week of 2/22

Vantage Point This movie looked like it had potential.  With a 25% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I doubt it will live up to its trailer.  Its major story telling gimmick (five points of view for 15 minutes each) is probably going to become majorly cumbersome, frustrating and ultimately the downfall of this movie.  Sorry, Dennis […]