George Lucas must be stopped at all cost! He won’t rest until he fills all of our favorite movies with crappy jarring CGI.
Spoilers ahead as I will probably reveal almost every retarded plot point in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull to tell you exactly what is wrong with the latest [...]
Category Archives: Movies
My Worst Fears Have Been Realized
May 24, 2008 – 6:50 am
Iron Man
May 5, 2008 – 3:54 am
At risk of sounding snooty… Iron Man has a third act problem. What was that problem? The writing team. Apparently the film had two writing teams, each working on different parts of the movie. The point at which the switch is made is heart breaking.
Most of the movie is funny, exciting, [...]
Movies for the week of 2/22
February 21, 2008 – 9:02 pm
Vantage Point
This movie looked like it had potential. With a 25% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I doubt it will live up to its trailer. Its major story telling gimmick (five points of view for 15 minutes each) is probably going to become majorly cumbersome, frustrating and ultimately the downfall of this movie. Sorry, Dennis Quaid, [...]
Movies for the week of 2/15
February 10, 2008 – 10:16 pm
I’ve been wanting to do short movie “previews” for my blog for a while now, and I feel that this is as good a time as any to start. You, my lucky reader, will get to imbibe my wisdom for uncanny predictions about movies I haven’t seen yet based on trailers that I barely remember.
Definitely [...]
Cloverfield
January 18, 2008 – 11:58 pm
I know that if you haven’t seen the movie yet, you probably don’t want me to ruin it for you so I’m putting spoilers after the “more” link and then a warning. If you just want to know how I felt to decide whether you should go to the movie, click on “more”. I’ll [...]
Dragon Wars
September 14, 2007 – 11:06 pm
I’m calling it right now… “Comedy of the Year”.
Seriously. This movie is hilarious. It takes place in Los Angeles, but it’s obvious that the director knows nothing about the USA that he didn’t learn from watching bad American movies. He also doesn’t seem to realize that the legal drinking age in the US is 21, [...]
Shoot ‘Em Up
September 8, 2007 – 12:40 pm
Shoot ‘Em Up is the most amazing action movie of the summer. It has a higher killing to talking ratio than most of the so-called action movies I’ve seen this year. It also has the most wonderfully unrealistic action I’ve seen in a long time. I just never knew carrots were so dangerous. I counted [...]
Recent Movie Roundup
August 21, 2007 – 10:43 pm
I’ve seen a bunch of movies recently but haven’t gotten around to writing about any of them, so I’m just going to write about the in one big post
Stardust
Probably the biggest problem that this movie has is that it takes a little while before you realize that the movie is funny. It doesn’t really [...]
Ratatouille
July 5, 2007 – 10:51 pm
What’s up with Pixar? Somehow, they are able to produce the best animated films year after year. Ratatouille is no exception. Seriously, go see this movie as soon as you can.
Pixar’s animation was as impeccable as ever. The fur on the rats, whether wet, dry, dirty or clean looked perfectly both [...]
Try transforming into a good director, Michael Bay
July 3, 2007 – 1:51 am
Just got back from Transformers. All plot holes aside, why, may I ask, do you spend millions of dollars on computer graphics and then obscure them with motion blur, flying dirt and night time fights? Oh right, because your movie sucks. Seriously, since most of the fights had to be night sequences [...]