Did I really spend money on this one? I guess I did. This movie’s main problem can be summed up in three words. No Rachel Weisz. Seriously. They couldn’t have written her out by saying something like “Oh, Evelyn died in the many intervening years since the last movie when we were supposed to be spies or something.” They had to replace her with a rather boring actress? Wait. Spies? Movie, don’t take cues from Indiana Jones 4. Your characters aren’t spies, so they wouldn’t have been spies since the last movie.
Speaking of the intervening years, Brenden Fraser’s son is now full grown and discovering his own mummies and yet, Fraser hasn’t aged at all. Not even one gray hair? That’s really lazy, movie. Yes, your audience will notice.
Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed the first Mummy movie, and even had a good time at the inferior sequel. I even cheered for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in his spin-off movie. The new follow up has none of the charm or appeal of the old movies. When the yeti scores a field goal and raises his arms in victory, you know what kind of movie you’re watching. One that can’t come up with something clever for the yetis to do, like rip the arms off Rachel Weisz’s replacement.